Hearts A Mess
by BlackHeartNeko9
Summary: Isabella Swan, was taken from her family home after witnessing her parents deaths. 10 years later,she finally escapes her 'owner'. What happens when she is adopted by the Cullen family? Will her heart mend or will it stay a mess? Original pairings.
1. You're Mine

**Hearts A Mess**

**Prologue – Swan Residence, Forks – March 1999**

_The banging echoed through the house, waking Charlie and Renee. Charlie cursed under his breath as he trudged downstairs to see who was knocking at 3am on a Sunday morning. He unlocked the door, leaving the chain on. He opened it and peered out into the darkness. "hello Chief." the door burst open,kicked off its hinges by the stranger standing in the shadows. Charlie was knocked off his feet and landed with a loud thump. Renee came running down the stairs, her face a mask of horror. "Charlie!!" she ran to her husbands side. But the stranger knocked her back, with a baseball bat. He laughed at the sickening crunch as it made contact with her rips. She yelped in pain. Charlie jumped to his feet and charged at the attacker. But he stepped sidewards and brought the baseball down on Charlie's neck. He laughed again as he fell to the floor._

_Phil Dwyer dragged the Chief and his wife into their spacious living room an tied them to the dining room chairs with coarse rope. He crossed his arms and watched as they slowly came to. Charlie looked up, slightly dazed before grimacing in pain. He struggled against his binds, gritting his teeth. "who are you?!?" he demanded. Phil laughed at his question. " they always ask the same questions. 'Who are you?' ,'what do you want?' Can't you at least be original Chief." He walked over to Renee and lifted her head up so so he could look at her face. His head cocked sideways taking in her features. "pretty thing. Shame she ended up with an idiot like you." Renee whimpered as her lungs felt like they were burning. He slapped her hard across the face. " shut up Bitch!" she bit her lip to stop from crying out. Tears started to fall down her cheeks, as she thought of what would happen to her family. _

" _Mom? Dad?" Phil spun around to see a six year old girl, standing in the door way, clutching to her chest a brown bear. Her messy brown locks hung to her waist and her skin was pale. She rubbed her eyes sleepily before looking up and seeing her parents bloodied and tied to the dining room chairs. Her eyes widened when Phil took slow, determined steps towards her, and then knelt down, smiling. "Hi sweetie, did we wake you up? I'm sorry" he spoke down at her, his voice sugar coated. The little girl looked up at the strange man then to her mom who was shaking her head at her, mouthing for her to "run". She took a step back,scared of the man in front of her. His hand quickly latched onto her small wrist and pulled her towards him._

_Charlie yelled in anger "leave her out of this!! she's just a little girl!!" Phil turned towards him as he stood up, keeping a tight hold on the child. " I know. I can just see how much money she will bring in for me." he smiled, showing straight white teeth. Renee struggled against her binds. " Don't you touch her, you bastard!!! Not my baby girl!!!" Phil continued smile sadistically while he tied the girl to the coffee table, warning her not to move. Phil moved over to Renee and untied but kept a tight grip on her. He took a pocket knife out of his pocket and flipped the blade up. She whimpered as he brought the knife to her throat. " you only speak when I want you to. Understand?" she nodded, tears continuously flowing down her cheeks. He turned her round and bent her over the arm of the couch and sliced the PJ bottoms off of her trembling body. Charlie roared in fury and tried to rip the rope off his wrists and ankles but had no luck. "NOOO!!!!DON'T" _

_Phil laughed before unbuckling his pants and burying himself in Renee's body. She screamed in pain as he continued to pound into her. " that's right bitch! Scream!" When he came, his body shook from the aftershocks. The little girl started to cry, calling out for her mom, begging for the man to stop. He pulled out of Renee and buckled his pants and then threw Renee to the floor as she sobbed and curled into a ball. Charlie was furious, but tears streamed down his face. Phil laughed at him "not the best I've had Chief. But I guess you wont be around to find your self another whore!" Charlie looked down at his wife, his eyes filled with guilt, shame and anger. The same thought whirling around his head like a storm. 'why couldn't I protect my family? I wont be able to protect my baby girl! I hope he kills her as well. I don't want to think of what he will do to her.' He looked at his child "Me and your mom love you baby! We always have. Always will." and with that Phil buried the knife in Charlie's body over and over and over again, ignoring the screams of the daughter and wife. _

_Blood splattered all over Phil and the surrounding furniture. He stood straight, and closed his eyes as he felt the adrenaline rush spread through him, giving him the feeling of power. The power he relished in every time he killed. He slowly turned his blood covered face to the sobbing woman. He smiled. Renee choked on her scream, her body and heart hurting. He stalked over to her and straddled her. She knew there was no point in fighting him but she punched and clawed at his chest until he stabbed her in the side. She gasped, her eyes widened. He continued to stab her until she coughed up blood and started to choke on it. Her eyes wandered over to her six year old daughter, who sat huddled against the table leg, he hand over her mouth and tears that flowed down her cheeks. Renee tried to reach out for her baby, but found that her arms were to heavy to lift. She mouthed ' I love you ' and smiled as the girl mouthed it back to her. Her eyes slowly dimmed, her last tears mixing with her blood._

"_Mom! Dad!" the little girl screamed for her parents as the killer carried her out of her home and into the night. His last words to her before exhaustion and shock took her small body were :_

" _**You're Mine now!! "**_

**(A/N) ookkaayy then. Its been a long time since I've updated but I've got a bit of writers block and it doesn't help that I've got a lot of homework. * sigh * I'm working round the writers block so I should be updating soon.....hopefully. ^^**

**This was sort of a dream I had (like my other stories) but I especially like this idea because it is disgustingly morbid and sad and any other words you can come up with.**

**Next chapter, will be set 10 years into the future in Arizona.**

**Tell me what you think on this chapter and ill update A.S.A.P. And please be gentle – I know my grammar and that sucks, I'm already getting beaten up bout it!! ^^ lolz**

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~***

**before I forget – I don't own Twilight or any of the characters, they belong to the boss – SM!**

**BlackHeart9 **

**xxxxxxxx**


	2. Blood on my Hands

**Hearts A Mess**

**(A/N) Hey, new chapter is up! Yay! This week has been really hectic – I've had so much homework and I have an Art NAB and I'm nowhere near done, so I dreading the outcome! : ( **

**Yeh....nightmare, but as long as I stay in school, I don't have to pay my mom rent!! Yay! ,also you may have noticed I've changed my pen name from BlackHeart9 to BlackHeartNeko9 – this is because every1 calls me Neko cause of my XBOX Live account minus the nine!!!! ^^**

**I call out to my friends – Rawr! I'm a Giraffe, Valkyrie Vamp, and Rawr! I'm a Vampire Ninja! Hey Biatches!!!!!!!! love you loads!! I miss you guys sooooo much!!!! :`(**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Twilight or any of the characters – They belong to the Head Priestess of Cullenism , S. Meyer.**

**Also, I mean no offence to Goths or emos. Just FYI.**

**10 years later – Arizona**

10 years have passed since I witnessed the violent deaths of my parents. I can't remember anything of them before that night. Its just a black void. I cant even remember their names or even my last name. I'm just Isabella. Over the years, I built up a wall around myself, protecting what was left of my sanity, from the world around me. I was more like the walking dead, a zombie. I ate, worked, slept, then repeated the process the next day. I hated to show emotions to the 'clients', as Phil calls them. There's only one client that can get an emotional reaction from me and that's because he is a monster! I hate him just as much as I hate Phil. He is a vampire. Well, not really. Vampires don't exist. He's one of those Goths who like to take their fanatics to far. My arms,legs and neck are covered in scars from where he slices open my skin and drinks my blood, moaning in pleasure. Sometimes, when he takes too much, I pass out from the blood loss.

I swung my legs over my bed and rubbed my hands over my face. It was 7 in the morning, the usual time for me to wake up at. I rarely slept. I was never able to get a full nights sleep. My dreams were filled with blood and pain. The screams of Phil's victims echoing in my mind. Over and over, never ending. I have no peace in life. Yet I long for a loving family, one that would love me no matter what. But its just a dream, a yearning. But I know, that, if I did get away, I would never have a family. I'm too broken to love or be loved. And anyway, I would never be able to escape. I've tried. I've tried so many times, that my body bears the marks of my punishment.

I stood up stretching, wincing as pain rippled through my body. I closed my eyes, blocking it out. I stumbled out of the bedroom to the bathroom, to wash away the dirt on my body from last night's clients. The water was boiling as I stepped under it, hissing as it stung my open wounds. I stood under the shower, letting the hot water unknot my muscles. It felt so good, and for that one moment I felt a sense of normalcy. But it was soon gone as someone banged on the bathroom door. I groaned in annoyance.

"Open the door!!" It was Bree, one of the woman who loves working for Phil.

"Fuck off, Bree!" I hated her. She was a right bitch. She is also Phil's favourite.

She banged on the door harder.

"Don't take that tone with me, Isabella!!"

She banged the door one last time before storming off. I washed my hair and body quickly before turning off the shower and stepping out. I dried myself with a towel, then dressed in my slacks and a long sleeved top. I had to do my morning chores before clients came. I cleaned the bedrooms, ignoring the shouts and insults the other woman threw at me. I worked for hours, sweeping and dusting, washing and ironing. I filled the bar up with alcohol, and wiped down the tables and poles. I was finally finished.

I walked back up the stairs, just as Phil came out of his office, a sadistic smile on his face.

"Isabella, my sweet. James has just informed me that he will be coming by tonight. It seems he can't get enough of you. You're like his own brand of heroin."

I flinched, taking a step back from Phil but he followed me, his smile gone from his face He grabbed me by the throat and spun me round, slamming me into the wall. I gasped in shock, not expecting the blow.

" I don't want any more shit from you. I know what happened last time him came. You fought against him. Do you have any idea what he can do? Do you?!"

He pulled me away from the wall before slamming me back into it. I glared at him as I answered.

"Yes, Sir."

He smiled at me again. He realised my neck, but his hand lingered on my shoulder. His gaze fell to my lips before travelling down my body. His eyes darkened with lust. I closed my eyes waiting for him to grope me. When he didn't, I opened my eyes. He smacked me hard across the cheek.

"You're late! Get dressed. I can hear customers downstairs!!"

And with that, he stormed away from me, down the stairs to meet with customers.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I was now dressed in my 'uniform'. Blue ripped short shorts, black platforms, black fish net tights, and t-shirt that was low-cut and stopped just below my breasts, leaving a lot of bare skin. The bruises that darkened my skin was covered in make-up as well as my most obvious scars.

I was working down stairs, waiting the tables. I was groped and slapped every five minutes and instead of kicking them were it hurt, I would smile at them and offer a drink. I walked past the woman pole dancing, to the bar to top up on, when someone came up behind me and pulled me back into their hard chest. I tried to pull away but he held on tight. His lips brushed against my ear.

" Don't fight me, Isabella."

I stiffened, as I recognised James' voice. He took the tray from hands and gave it to one of the other girls. He dragged me away from the bar and up the stairs to one of the bedrooms, not before nodding at Phil who stood there watching, with a smile. He pushed me into the bedroom and closed the door behind him.

I stood in front of him, revulsion strong in my mind. He stood watching me for a moment before walking forward. James is a predator. His eyes were a strange colour, a violet. His skin, paler than mine, was cold and hard. He pulled me close to his body, his face buried in the crook of my neck. I stood there, my eyes closed, as his teeth scraped against my skin.

My hands went to his shirt and I pushed it up. He smiled against my throat. He pulled my t-shirt up over my head so that I stood in my bra. He unclasped it and let it fall to the floor. He pushed me onto the bed and ripped the shorts and tights from my body. He brought a pocket knife out and he straddled me. My heart thudded against my chest as he brought the knife nearer to me. He brought my wrist up to his face and inhaled deeply before licking the skin then slicing open my wrist. I cried out. He latched on, sucking and pulling, greedily. Then he was off of me and was stripping his clothes off at his usual fast speed. And he was back on top, sucking the blood from my wrist as he entered my body. Tears began to form in my eyes as he started a rhythm, in and out, in and out, causing me pain. He sliced the skin on my breast then began to drink from there,leaving my wrist bleeding, without stopping.

Two hours later, and I was spent. My body didn't want to move and my eyes were desperate to close. Once again, he drank too much. He stood over me, fully dressed and my blood smeared on his lips. He licked them to taste the last of my blood.

"You always taste good. Better than anyone else. Maybe its your hatred for me that's sweetens it.."

He smiled down at me, his teeth straight and white. His gaze travelled possessively over me, making me want to curl up and disappear from the world.

"Goodbye, my Isabella. I will see you again in two days."

He leant down and licked the trail of blood that was in between my breasts. He moaned in pleasure before leaving the room. The room faded away into darkness, sweeping me into my nightmares.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I came to a few hours later, my body aching and the cuts stinging. I got dressed in my slacks, wincing as the material dragged over my wounds. I left the room for the kitchen to find paracetamol. And as I stumbled through the hall near the stairs, not looking where I was going, I tripped and fell into Bree, who was at the top of the stairs. She lost her footing and fell forward. She fell down the stairs, crying out, which was quickly silenced as she hit the bottom.

Her fall seemed to go in slow motion and I just stood there watching. She was lying still, at the bottom of the stairs, her neck bent in a weird direction. Someone screamed and I was pushed aside as Jane, Bree's best friend, ran down the stairs. She screamed for help, while I just stood there watching and for some reason, there was a small smile on my face. She was crying as she cradled her friend's body to her. Other girls came running, some started to cry, while others just shook their heads in sadness. Jane screamed for Phil. The name echoed through my brain. He was going to kill me now. I killed his favourite and best worker. He wouldn't even let me explain that it was an accident.

I turned round and walked towards my bedroom. But I didn't get there in time, as Phil came up behind me and dragged me into his office, and slammed the door shut.

"You fucking bitch!!!"

He pushed me to the ground and kicked in the ribs a couple of times. He knelt down and grabbed me by the hair and slammed my head into the ground. I cried out on pain. I tried to pry his hand open but he was too strong. Tears fell free as, he dragged me across the floor to his desk, where he opened the draw and pulled out his knife.

"It was an accident!!! I didn't mean it!!! I'm sorry!!! I'm sorry!!!"

He punched me again and again. He was about to bring the knife to my throat when someone knocked on the door. He growled, before standing up and stalking across to the door.

"What!?!?!

it was Jane. I looked up from the floor, blood blinding my vision. She glared at me from the door, her face red and tear-streaked.

"What are we to do about Bree?"

"We can't let the police find this place. Get the boys to take her body and hide it somewhere. Take her into the desert. Bury her."

She nodded, more tears leaking from her eyes. He reached out and stroked her tears away.

"Don't worry, my sweet. She won't get away with it!"

He turned and glared at me. Jane nodded and left. I pulled myself to my knees, my body shaking from the pain. I got to my feet, swaying. Phil closed the door again, then turned and stared at me.

"You know, you are like your mother. She begged. She begged like a little whore."

" don't talk about her like that!"

He laughed and held out his arms.

"Or what? What are you going to do?"

I stumbled slightly, causing him to laugh again. He walked towards me, the knife steady. I limped nearer to his desk, never turning my back to him.

"you think I'm going to beg, Phil? Beg you to kill me??"

He didn't answer. He came forward, his eyes dark with hatred and anger. I reached behind me and grabbed his lamp off the desk. Just as he was about to stab me, I brought the lamp down, heavily onto his hand, causing him to drop the knife. I then hit him over the head. He dropped to the floor. I put the now broken lamp on his desk and picked up the knife that killed so many people and held it. _ How can such a small thing, cause so much pain and grief? _

Phil laughed as he slowly got up. I walked backwards, away from him, till my back was against the wall. He walked towards me.

"Isabella, what are you going to do? Kill me? You don't have the balls to do it. You're just a weak little girl. Like your mother."

Anger coursed through my body like a burning fire.

"Do you remember that night? The screams of your parents? The way they cried? How your mom begged, when I fucked her? Do you remember that, Isabella? How your dad cried like a little girl?"

Tears flowed down my cheeks.

"stop it!!!!"

I wanted to cover my ears with my hands. I wanted to scream to block out his voice.

He continued forward, a grin on his face, knowing that he had power over me.

"What would your parents think of you now? The little whore. They would be so disappointed in you. I can just imagine their faces, filled with disgust. Can you see them, Isabella? Can you remember them?"

A sob escaped me but my hand tightened around the knife. He reached out and stroked my face. I looked up into his eyes. He was enjoying himself. He enjoyed people's pain. He was a monster. A soulless creature. A creature that needed to be put down,

"Don't talk about my parents that way!!"

I stabbed him. The blade sinking into his flesh. The blood poured out of him and wound around the hilt, like a crimson snake, till it covered my hands. His eyes widened in shock and he tried to speak but couldn't. I pulled the knife out of him to stab into him again.

He fell to his knees. He looked up at me as he tried to pull the knife from his body, but it was lodged in his bones. He fell sideways, his head hitting the floor. And with a small sigh, he breathed his last breath

Because of me.

What have I done?

This wasn't me?

Was it?

I looked at my blood coated hands.

I killed someone.

I was a monster – like Phil.

I slumped against the wall, and slipped down it. I hugged my knees to my chest and cried.

_What Have I done??_

_**(A/N) wow. I think this is my longest chapter ever!! I'm so proud of myself. * jumps up and down, clapping hands* OK I was going to cut it shorter but I just kept on typing. I've been over it a thousand times already so I think I got most of the mistakes …..... hopefully ^-^**_

_**anyway – please press the shiny green button and tell me what you think.**_

_**Its really important for me to know, otherwise I just cant continue, which is a shame for those who really care what happens to the poor girl......well I'm not one of those people cause I already know! : P**_

_**Playlist of this chapter ~ Forbidden by D'espairsRay**_

_**Daddy's Falling Angel by In This Moment**_

_**Burning the Lives by Shadows Fall**_

_**Broken Home by Papa Roach**_

_**Love ya's**_

_**BlackHeartNeko9**_

_**xxx**_


	3. Voices

Hearts a Mess

A month has passed since that day. The police held me overnight as they arrested the women for Prostitution and Drugs. They interrogated me, with the whole, 'good cop,bad cop' regime. If I wasn't in a serious position, I would have laughed. After the police investigated, they let me off, saying that I had killed him in self-defence. But it didn't make it right nor did it make me feel any better.

So here I am, sitting on my new temporary bed, in a children's home. I wrapped my arms around my legs as I rested my cheek on my knee. I was exhausted. As usual, sleep escaped me during the night and I felt drained. My eyes slowly closed but opened again as someone knocked on the door.

"Come in."

The door opened to reveal the forever smiling Social worker.

"Come on, Isabella. They're here."

I scowled in confusion. _Who was here?_ She sighed and shook her head, smiling.

"Don't tell me you have forgotten already? Remember the family that you're meeting today?"

"oh, is that today?"

She laughed and nodded. She walked into my room and sat down next to me.

"You've not been sleeping. Are you ok?"

I nodded as she brushed some loose hair behind my ear.

"Come on. Everything's going to be fine. They are a very nice couple and they are excited to meet you."

As she stood up, she held out her hand for mine.I unwound my arms from my legs and put my hand in hers. She pulled me up and led me down the stairs to the meeting room. My heart thudded in my chest. _Why would someone be excited to meet me?_

_X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X_

As the social worker led me into the meeting room, my eyes fell to the floor. I sat down on the seat opposite the couple.

"Isabella, meet Mr and Mrs Cullen. I'll just leave so you can get to know each other better."

She left, closing the door behind her. I twisted a piece of my hair around my finger before looking up. In front of me sat two of the most beautiful people I have ever seen. Both had pale skin with bright golden eyes and their teeth almost sparkled as they smiled at me. The woman had shoulder length hair, the colour of honey, while the man had short blond hair.

"Its nice to meet you, Isabella. I'm Carlisle and this is my wife, Esme."

The woman smiled gently at me.

"er …..hi."

I didn't know what to say. Why would this beautiful couple want to adopt someone like me?

"So, Isabella, is there anything you like to do, hobbies of such?"

Esme asked sweetly. I swallowed. What do I say?? I was never allowed to read books only educational ones, the only music I ever listened to was the stuff played in the bar and I hated it.

I looked down again, unable to look them in the eyes. I started to panic. I couldn't tell them the reasons why I didn't read or listen to music. They would look at me with disgust and hatred. I didn't want that. The things that the other woman said to me over the years bounced around in my head : _"No one would ever love you! What makes you think people care what happens to you! Everybody will hate you!"_ My heart thudded painfully. Maybe they were right. Who would want to love me? I don't even love me! As my thoughts stabbed my heart, I jumped up from my seat and ran out of the room slamming the door into the wall as I left. I ran up the stairs, dodging the social worker, and stopped as I reached the bathroom. I locked my self in before falling to the floor in a flood of tears.

Meanwhile, down the stairs in the meeting room.

Gianna walked into the open meeting room, to find Mr and Mrs Cullen sitting clasping hands as they spoke on a cell. As Gianna sat down in the chair Isabella once sat on, Carlisle hung up, a grim look on his handsome face.

"Is she OK? We didn't mean to upset her."

Esme said, her eyes glassy with un-shed tears. Gianna shook her head, her smile gone from her face. She was worried about Isabella and how she would react to the Cullen's.

"Don't worry. It wasn't you. She just got lost in her thoughts. It happens sometimes. I've tried reaching to her but she's got this wall around her that I cant breach. The police couldn't get through to her either."

The last part was more to herself, and when she realised what she said, she blushed. A look of shock crossed Carlisle and Esme's face.

"The police?? What has happened to her??"

Gianna fidgeted nervously in her seat. As the Cullen's were looking to adopt her, she didn't want to scare them off. But this was Isabella's chance of getting adopted and getting a family. And from what she heard from the police, no one deserved it as much as Isabella. She didn't want to ruin this for her. But maybe the Cullen family were different from the others. She left the room quickly, excusing herself, to get Isabella's file from her locked cabinet. She returned a moment later and sat in her seat again.

"The police don't know much on Isabella. They don't know where she's from or who her parents are."

She held out the file to the couple, who took it. Esme's hand covered her mouth in shock as she read the police report and the doctors report on how Isabella was found. There was also a psychiatric report on Isabella's mental health. After reading the reports, Carlisle and Esme looked up.

"The poor girl! How could anyone so young suffer like that!"

Esme buried her face in Carlisle's shoulder, who stroked her hair in reassurance. Gianna began to twist her engagement ring around her finger.

" I gave you the file, in hope that you would understand, why Isabella is the way she is. She's in need of a loving family. I've had three other family's meet her and they turned her down. I shouldn't say this, but, she deserves a piece of happiness, more than the other kids in this home."

Gianna's eyes filled with tears. As one trickled down her cheek, she wiped it away apologizing. The couple looked at each other then back to Gianna.

" when can we take her home with us?"

Gianna smiled.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

I'm now adopted, a member of the Cullen family. I sat in the back of their car, looking out the tinted window, watching the trees flash past. The car pulled to a stop outside a large white house, surrounded by a freshly mown lawn. I stared, open mouthed at the mansion. Carlisle opened the door for me and helped me out. I pushed my backpack up my shoulder as Esme led me up the stairs to the porch.

Carlisle opened the door and held it open for me. I walked in, unsure of myself. My hand tightened on my strap as I took in my surroundings. The Cullen family were rich. Filthy rich. The room was bright, with a large fireplace, flat screen TV, a large, purple corner suite. In the middle, sat a glass coffee table. As the door shut, Esme hung her coat in the closet and asked me,

" Are you hungry?"

I shook my head. She smiled at me.

"I'll show you to your room."

She kissed Carlisle on the cheek before leading me up the stairs. She stopped outside the door on the third floor. She walked in, leaving the door open for me. Hesitantly, I walked in . There was a large bay window with a window seat, a four poster bed, a fireplace and a large set of shelves. There were two other doors in the room and I wondered where they led to. Esme opened the window, then turned and smiled at me.

"Do you like it? I hope its not too much. Alice, one of my other daughters can get a bit carried away."

I shook my head at her. I loved it! The purple coloured walls, the window seat. Everything. It was like a dream.

"No....its nice. Really nice. Thank you."

She smiled brightly.

"I'll just leave you to get settled in."

I nodded as she left with unnatural grace.

I looked around the room, admiring the work that had been put in for me. I opened one of the two doors to find a large en suite bathroom. It was bright and there was a large mirror with lights around it. The tub had numerous candles surrounding it, and there was thick purple towels , sitting ready for use on a chrome rack. I left the bathroom and checked the other door, to find a walk-in closet. The rails were filled with clothes. I ran my hands over them, shocked. _Were they for me?_ I checked the labels that were still on the them. They were all brand new, designer clothes that were in my size. I shook my head. They must be one of Esme's other kids clothes or something. No one would spend so much money on clothes for me. If they did, they were crazy.

I closed the door and walked over to the large bed. I dropped my bag at the foot of the bed and sat down, sinking into the mattress. I toed my trainers off and layed back. The sheets were soft and they smelt of lavender. I curled up into a tight ball and closed my eyes.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

There were hushed voices and a soft sigh. Something cold stroked my cheek. I curled up tighter.

"_Don't wake her, Edward. She needs it. She looks so tired, like she hasn't slept in years_."

Esme? Who was she talking to? Who was Edward? Was that her son?

"_She smells amazing."_

Again, something cold stroked my cheek, lingering for a moment.

"_What happened to her, Esme? You blocked you're mind as did Carlisle."_

"_Edward, its not our place. when she is ready, she will talk. Just give her time. She has suffered greatly,so be careful what you say around her. We have to keep an eye on her."_

"_That's fine. Emmett's the only big problem. Rosalie should be able to control him. You better warn him though. He would make her feel uncomfortable."_

"_That's the last thing we want."_

I must have been dreaming. The voices soon disappeared and I was swept away by a dark wave and thrown into my nightmares.


	4. What are they?

**Hearts a Mess**

_Huddled in a corner, tears mixing with crimson,_

_in the shadows crouched a monster in human form. _

_The flash of silver, a knife comes down._

_Slicing skin, blood drips, shining in darkness._

_Laughter._

_Sounds of sucking, moaning and groaning._

_Sounds of sobbing._

"_Leave me alone! Don't touch me!"_

_Laughter._

_Flash of silver, the knife comes down, again and again._

_Sucking and moaning._

_Pleading and sobbing._

_Carving of the skin, echoes of my screams. _

"Isabella, wake up!!"

I sat up, gasping for breath, tears running freely down my cheeks. My vision was blurred and I could just make out Esme sitting on the bed. She wiped my tears away with a tissue before pulling me to her chest, in a motherly hug. I clung to her sobbing. No one has tried to comfort me before and my heart ached with the knowledge. She stroked my hair and rocked me as I cried.

"It's OK, Isabella. It was just a nightmare. Nothing is going to harm you. Nothing will ever touch you again. I promise."

She pulled me into her lap and continued to rock me. After a while, I calmed down.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

I moved off of Esme and closed my eyes, expecting a slap out of bad habit. She brushed my hair off of my face. I looked up at her to see a look of anger and sadness on her face.

"What have they done to you?!"

It was almost a whisper. I looked away from her, hoping that she would never find out. A booming voice came from downstairs. Esme smiled.

"it looks like the family is back. Why don't you get cleaned up and come down stairs and meet everyone. Unless you are still tired?"

I shook my head. I never wanted to sleep again. I wish there was some way I didn't have to. _Stupid human needs!_ She kissed me on the forehead before leaving the room gracefully.

I showered quickly in the large en suite, then dressed in a pair of jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt, that I took from my backpack. I left my room, closing the door quietly. As I walked down the stairs quietly. As I got to the last set of stairs, I heard a soft voice, filed with excitement say

"she's coming!!! Yay!! My new sister!!"

There was laughter. I blushed. I continued down the stairs till I was in the living room. Standing around the coffee table, facing the stairs was Esme and Carlisle, along with four beautiful teenagers.

A small, pixie like girl, with short black spiky hair was practically jumping up and down. A taller man with blond hair and an amused smile on his face, had his hands on her shoulders as if to hold her down. But he failed epically. To the right stood, a blond goddess leaning into a body-builder. Her hair was golden and cascaded down her back. Her lips were blood red which matched her nails and belt on her low-rise jeans. She smiled at me. The body-builder had brown curly locks and he had a goofy grin on his face. There was movement to my left. I turned my head and saw another teenager coming in from the kitchen. His hair was the strangest colour. Bronze and when the light hit it, it shone like a burning flame. He was tall with broad shoulders and a thin waist. His jeans hung low but hugged him and his black long sleeved t-shirt hugged his (quite obvious) sculptured chest. He smiled crookedly, his eyes dark with an unknown emotion. I looked back at Esme, who came forward and took my hand, pulling me into the middle of the room.

"Everyone,this is Isabella. She will be joining our family and I want you to make her feel welcome. Isabella this is Emmett" she gestured towards the body builder."and his....girlfriend, Rosalie." she gestured to the goddess. " this is Jasper and his girlfriend, Alice." she gestured to the bouncy pixie and the failing blond.

I smiled and said a small hi to them. When Esme turned me round to face the bronze haired god. I looked up at Esme, expectantly, waiting for her to introduce us. She had a smug look on her face as she smiled at the boy. He stepped forward and said

"I'm Edward."

His voice was soft like velvet and it soothed me. I smiled slightly at him. I nodded at him, too nervous to speak. He smiled as if finding my nervousness funny. The other teens laughed, Emmett the loudest. I felt my blush creep up my neck and fill my face, which caused them to laugh harder. I looked down at the floor, not quite sure whether to laugh with them or hide behind Esme, who was kindly not laughing.

"Enough kids."

The laughing soon stopped after she gave them a stern look. But her eyes were filled with love as she scolded them and again my heart twisted painfully. I looked away from her, trying to ignore the burning sensation behind my eyes.

"Isabella, are you hungry?"

Esme asked sweetly. I looked back at her and smiled slightly.

"Just a little."

She smiled back at me and took my hand, taking me into the kitchen.

I sat down on the chair next to the breakfast bar. I watched as she worked around he kitchen. I smiled as she put an apron on. She was the image of the perfect mother, like the ones you see on TV. She saw me smiling and smiled back. Edward came in to the kitchen and sat next to me. I turned slightly to look at him. He smiled at me, a weird look in his eyes. A ghost of a smile reached my lips before I turned back round and watched Esme again. A couple of minutes later, a plate was in front of me. Eggs on toast with mushrooms. It smelled amazing my stomach ached at the smell of it.

"thank you"

"your welcome, sweetie."

she kissed me non the cheek, then set to cleaning the kitchen. My hand lifted and rested on to the cheek she kissed. I stared at her shocked. I could feel Edward's eyes on my. My hand fell. I picked up the knife and fork, and began to slowly eat it. Not once did Edward's gaze waver. After I was finished, Edward took my plate and put it in the dishwasher.

"thanks."

He shrugged and continued to watch me, his head to one side as if trying to figure me out. Someone called him from the other room. He walked out of the kitchen, shutting the door behind him. I rubbed my eyes, feeling tired.

I got down from the chair and pushed it in. I walked over to the door and opened it. Edward was getting held back by Emmett and Jasper was holding Alice back. The rest of the family were arguing in whispers, too low for me to hear.. Edward growled at Alice, his eyes darkened. Esme looked up and saw me.

"Isabella!"

I just stood there shocked. Everyone seemed to calm down and they all turned to me. Esme shooed everyone away and they all stormed up the stairs apart from Edward, who just walked out of the house slamming the door. There was a sound of an engine running then the screech of tires. Esme walked over to me.

"Did I do something wrong, cause if I did, I'm really sorry."

She smiled sadly.

"no, you didn't do anything. Just the.....usual arguments. We didn't want you to hear. They can get quite verbal. They just need to cool off for a bit then they'll be back down here, all smiles and challenging each other. So don't worry your little head over it."

I smiled up at her, not completely sure.

I sat with Esme on the sofa, as we watched a movie. It was funny in parts but I only smiled. I was too busy thinking on the fight between Edward and Alice. Why did they remind me of wild animals? So graceful and pale? Why were they so cold-skinned?

What are they?

**A/N i have a new love!!! Edward, Emmett and James better watch out!!!! Bill and Eric are coming into town!!!!!!!!!! *swoon***


	5. I Dont Know

**Hearts a Mess**

Esme's point of View.

Isabella fell asleep not long after the movie finished. She had curled up, hugging the pillow tightly. The poor girl needed all the sleep she could get. She looked like she hadn't had a decent nights sleep in years. I stared at her as her face scrunched up then smoothed out again. I wonder what she dreams of? At that moment Edward walked back into the house. He saw Isabella asleep and quickly moved to her side. He knelt down beside her, gazing at her face.

"Edward. I know its hard, but you have to wait."

He reached out and brushed her hair out of her face. He gazed lovingly at her. He sighed heavily.

"I know, its just..."

I knelt down beside him, pulled him into my arms and hugged him tightly.

"Just give her some time, Edward. She's just not used to a family life. Let her get settled in first. Its all new to her."

He nodded sadly, his eyes never leaving Isabella.

"what happened to her, Esme? Why is she like this?"

I sighed and blocked my mind from my son.

"its not my place to tell. When the time is right and she is ready, she will tell you. I don't even know what has happened. Only small parts."

I let go of Edward and sat back on the couch, closer to Isabella than I was before.

" She needs lots of love. She needs looked after. We need to give her something she has never had – a family."

He looked up at me and nodded slightly.

"I'll take her up to her room."

I nodded and watched as he gently pried the pillow from Isabella's hands then picked her up, bridal style. I smiled at the thought. Edward glanced down at me, a smile brightening his face. He looked back down at Isabella, his smile never fading.

"one day."  
He whispered it more to himself then me. He walked up the stairs human speed. To prolong the time of holding her? I wasn't sure but I couldn't help but smile. My family is now complete.

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

I woke slowly, my eyes heavy with sleep. I blinked, trying to clear my blurry vision. I sat up rubbing them, removing the sleep from the corners of my eyes. After unwrapping myself from the duvet, I swung my legs over the side of the bed, stretching. I winced as my back cracked. I left my room quietly, not wanting to disturb anyone. I sneaked down the stairs, towards the front door and opened it. Surprisingly, it was unlocked. I closed it quietly. I lowered myself down onto the second step and gazed up at the clear night sky. I breathed deeply, enjoying how free I felt in that moment. A smile touched my lips. The world around me was peaceful. There was a small breeze, carrying the scent of flowers from Esme's beautiful garden.

"Are you okay, Isabella?"

I jumped and turned towards the voice. Edward stepped out of the shadows, a frown on his beautiful face. I nodded at him. He stepped nearer.

"May I sit with you?"

I nodded again. He sat on the stair next to me, leaning back on his elbows. We sat in silence for a few moments before he asked,

"Did you have difficulty sleeping?"

I shrugged. I pulled my legs to my chest and rested my cheek on my knees.

"Bad dreams?"

I closed my eyes at his guess.

"It doesn't matter. I'm used to them."

I blurted out without thinking. He moved,crouched, until he was in front of me.

"Isabella, I have no idea what you have been through. But I promise you. No, I swear, I wont let anything hurt you. You are safe here."

His words warmed me and caused tears to from in my eyes. I suddenly threw myself at him, my arms wrapped around his neck and my face buried in his shoulder. He was shocked at first, but then he wrapped his arms round my waist and hugged me back. I felt him inhale deeply and then sigh. As I pulled back I whispered near his ear.

"Thank you."

He seemed reluctant to let me go. I sat back on the stair, realizing what I had done, then blushed furiously. He chuckled as he watched my skin go from ivory to crimson. He stood up and held out his hand for mine.

"I better get you inside or Esme is going to kill me."

I nodded then placed my hand in his. He pulled me up then walked up the stairs, me in tow. Holding to door open for me, I walked past Edward. I felt something cold brush my cheek quickly before it disappeared. I turned and looked at Edward, who had both hand in his pockets. I shrugged it off. Must be my imagination.

We walked up the stairs in silence, occasionally looking at each other then looking away smiling slightly.

"Goodnight, Isabella. I hope you sleep well."

Edward murmured, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Goodnight Edward. You too."

He chuckled. Was missing an inside joke? I opened the door and walked inside, feeling confused but happy. I closed the door as Edward turned and began to walk down the corridor to his room. I smiled. I walked towards the bed and collapsed on it. I pulled the cover over me and I snuggled into its warmth. My sleep was undisturbed.

Well that was until morning and Emmett came into my room singing at the top of his voice.

"Good morning sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey!!"

He went high pitched and stretched 'happy' out. I smiled. There's a way to get woken up in the morning. I opened my eyes, to see Emmett prancing around, opening the curtains. I smiled and sat up. I rubbed my eyes, my smile still on my face. He skipped over to me and jumped onto the bed. I quickly moved my legs so that he didn't break them.

"Good morning, my new little sister. How fare you?"

He bowed his head, mockingly, his grin ear to ear.

"um...fine thanks?"

He clapped his hands, laughing. Then he said.

"Its time to feed you, little sister."

He stood up and grabbed me gently and slung me over his large shoulder. I cried out in shock. He laughed and continued out of my room and down the stairs. When he reached the kitchen, he sat me on the chair at the breakfast table. He patted me on the head and left laughing.

"good morning, Isabella. I'm sorry about the wake up call. Emmett can be quite....childish."

There was a shout of denial from the other room.. I smiled. Esme danced around the room, cooking breakfast. I watched her again, awed by her gracefulness. She kept looking up at me and smiled brightly.

"Good morning, Bella."

I turned and faced the door to see Alice and Rosalie come in, dressed and make-up on. They smiled. Alice was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"You don't mind being called Bella, do you??"

I shook my head. Bella. I liked it. It was so much better than Isabella. They continued to smile as they glided over to Esme and kissed her on the cheek then came over to me. They started to play with my hair, twisting it gently and holding it different positions.

"you have beautiful hair, Bella. Its so soft, like silk."

I blushed and muttered 'thank you'. Esme was quick to place a plate of hot food in front of me. I stared down at the bacon, eggs and and mushrooms. My mouth watered, as the smells wafted up. I picked up the knife and fork and dug in eagerly. Esme smiled happily. Alice and Rosalie left, saying that had to go shopping. I was finished within minutes. I helped Esme clean up, much to her dismay. She kissed me on the cheek, then went to do the gardening. Unsure of what I could do, I opened the door to the living room, to see Emmett, Jasper and Edward playing a video game. I watched them curiously, having never seen or played on a console. They were playing some kind of shooting game. The three boys looked up and smiled brightly. They motioned with their hands and said

"Bella, come play with us, we've got another controller."

I walked over to them and sat on the couch, my hands clasped on my lap. Emmett handed me a red controller and showed me how to play. After a couple of rounds, I got into the game, having fun annoying Emmett. Every time he tried to kill me, Jasper and Edward would come up behind him. He got so frustrated he threw the controller to the floor and flung himself at Jasper who was on the floor, clutching his sides in laughter. I covered my mouth as they wrestled, trying to hold back my laughter. Edward was openly laughing, his face glowing. He looked even more beautiful when he laughed. I blushed at the thought, sadly, my blush didn't go unnoticed. Edward, still smiling, looked over at me.

"You okay?"

I nodded, moving my hand away, revealing my smile. His golden eyes sparkled. I turned my head away and looked at the two wresting teenagers teenagers. Emmett had Jasper pinned to the floor, and was growling at him. Jasper just smiled up at him, then pouted his lips and blew him a kiss. I laughed as Jasper pushed Emmett off him, rolled him over than pinned him. Esme came running, pulling off her gardening gloves. She stood above the boys, her hands on her hips.

"Emmett! Jasper! Stop it this instant!"

She didn't raise her voice but it was lined with anger. Emmett and Jasper stopped and pushed away from each other. They stood up and looked down at the floor. She glared down at them. She looked over Emmett's shoulder and saw me trying to hide my smile. Her face broke out in a smile. Emmett and Jasper turned and looked at me. I looked down at the floor, my hair falling around me like a curtain. I looked up again after a moment, to see Esme kiss the boys' cheeks then walk away.

Emmett and Jasper ran to me and pulled me into a hug.

"You are a star! You just got us out of trouble! What did you do??"

"I...I don't know."


	6. A Better Life

**Hearts a Mess**

A couple of weeks has passed and living at the Cullen's has been fun. Emmett would wake me up in the morning singing and dancing. Esme cooked me meals, so delicious that I cleared the plate. I was never shouted at, hit or abused. Its like a dream. I was almost afraid that I would wake up and I was back in my bed at the club with Phil.

I was starting to come out of my shell. I was learning how to laugh. I cant remember laughing. Not an honest-to-god-I'm-loving-life kind of laugh. It felt good. I felt good, in myself. Being part of the Cullen family has been the happiest time of my life and I never want it to end. I wish I could be with them forever. If only that was possible.

They taught me many things over the weeks. How to laugh and play. To love. Edward in particular. We have grown closer and I've felt things I've never felt before. When ever he smiles, my heart seems to flutter, when he touches me, my heart seems to stop. And I have a suspicion that Edward knows the effect he has on me, as he always smiles mischievously.

I spent my days sitting on the black sofa in Edwards room, listening to music, sitting in his music room listening to him play or playing games in the living with the boys. But some days, Rosalie and Alice got hold of me and play Bella Barbie.

I was told that I would be starting school next week at the local school. When I was first told I was scared. This would be the first time at school. I was never allowed to leave the Club for school, in fear that I would be recognised or tell someone and escape.

Esme reassured me that Edward was in all my classes, that made sure that I had someone in my classes. When I was told this, I relaxed. I didn't want to be alone in school. Now, I'm excited. Something I've always wanted.

Things were getting better for me, but only when I was awake. My nightmares still invade me, making me lose sleep. Each night, I would wake up and sit on the porch, to stare at the stars. And every night, Edward would be there, to keep me company.

~~~~~*~~~~~

A week has passed and today is my first day at Forks High. Emmett woke me in his own special little way and Esme made me my usual breakfast. Rose and Alice dragged me away to dress me up. Half hour later, I was staring, shocked in the mirror at the miracles that Rose and Alice could do. I hardly recognised myself. They out done themselves. My hair was slightly curled and tumbled over my shoulders, my lids were shadowed in a shimmery navy blue powder, and light blush. My lips were a glossy pink.

I slid into the passenger seat of Edwards shiny silver Volvo. Edward slid in a moment later, looking amazing as usual. He smiled over at me as he started the engine. The drive to the school was filled with the songs on the radio. Emmett and the others followed behind in his large, yellow Jeep. Edward pulled into the school. The school was a bunch of small red brick buildings.

The school was a bit of a disappointment but I didn't care. I stepped out of the car as soon as Edward pulled into a space. I stared at the school, a small smile on my face. I was excited. Edward came round to my side and took hold of my hand, something he has done often.

Some of the teenagers, getting of their cars stopped and stared at me. I ducked my head, feeling the heat rise from my neck to my cheek. Edward chuckled, then led me towards the school office. Rose and the others followed behind. Rose and Alice were chattering about fashion, while Jasper and Emmett were arguing over which game was better and who was better at playing it. Edward and I just walked in silence, enjoying each others company.

After getting my timetable and slip for my teachers, (they didn't bother giving me a map, because of my family) and Edward took me to my first class, English. I got me slip signed by Mr Stirling then followed Edward to the back of the class, my head down. I sat next to Edward, my cheeks red from embarrassment. All the way to the back, the teens stared at me, open-mouthed. Edward tensed, and he openly glared at the class till they turned round, to face the front of the class.

"Are they meant to be like that?"

I whispered to Edward, feeling self-conscious.

"Don't worry about it. They don't often see new students."

~~~~~*~~~~~

The day passed quickly, and school was, well for better words, strange. All through the day, the students stared at me and the Cullens. They often crowded, making me feel nervous and sick. Then the Cullens would scare them off with a single look.

I slid into the silver Volvo, exhausted and desperate to get back to the Cullen's home. I gazed out the window, watching the streets go past, and the small children walking home from school. Edward turned down a street, on the edge of the lush green woods. I blinked. Then again. Why did this place seem familiar. I sat upright, my hands on the window.

I sat waiting. Waiting to see past the trees. And as we drove past them, my heart was in my throat.

"Stop the car!"

Edward pulled the car to a skidded stop, outside an old house, clearly empty of any residents. I jumped out the car and stood and stared at the house. It seemed familiar, something that I had seen before.

My head started to hurt, trying to remember. I pressed my finger tips to my forehead.

"Bella, are you ok?"

Edward's voice came from behind but I ignored him. I walked towards the house, my feet leading me towards the front door.

"Bella?"

Alice. She took hold of my hand and pulled me back.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

I looked at her.

"I know this place."

I pulled away and continued walking. By the door was a plaque.

_In the memory of Chief Charles Swan and his wife Renee Swan,_

_murdered in their home their six year old daughter Isabella Swan,_

_missing from their home on the night of her family's death. Isabella remains missing_

_to this day. _

I traced the names of Charles and Renee, feeling an unknown pain in my chest and my eyes started to burn. I could hear the Cullens say my name repeatedly but they seemed distant. Below the plaque there was flowers,old and new, teddys and pictures. I knelt down and picked up one of the photos. It was a of two adults, one native American in a wheelchair holding a large fish in his hands. Next to him, was knelt a broad shouldered man with also, a large fish in his hands. Both smiling happily. I traced the man's face. I stood up, still holding the photo. I grabbed the door handle and pushed open the door. The door opened with a small creak and I stepped into the hallway. I coughed, covering my hand as the air was stale.

The room was dusty, the wallpaper and flooring covered. I looked around, the house feeling more familiar. I walked, almost trance like, up the stairs. I headed towards the room at the end of the hall and opened the door.

The room was a light pink. A small white wooden bed sat in the corner, dusty and old. On the wall, Isabella was written in bight pink and purple. My hand covered my mouth, tears falling from my eyes. I turned away and ran down the stairs pushing past the Cullens who stood watching, shocked. I ran towards the living room and stopped in the door way.

I gripped onto the door frame, my nails digging into the wood. My head was throbbing. The pain continued on. _"Leave her out of this!! she's just a little girl!!" _The voice rang through my head. I stepped into the room. On the floor, was an outlined silhouette of a body and the floor was a dark brown colour. To the left, was a metal coffee table, dust thick on its glass top. And under the table, was a teddy bear. I bent down and picked the teddy up, and stroked the fur.

I cradled it to my chest before being assaulted by screams and shouts. The room spinned and I was thrown into a memory, that was locked away.

" _Mom? Dad?" Phil spun around to see a six year old girl, standing in the door way, clutching to her chest a brown bear. Her messy brown locks hung to her waist and her skin was pale. She rubbed her eyes sleepily before looking up and seeing her parents bloodied and tied to the dining room chairs. Her eyes widened when Phil took slow, determined steps towards her, and then knelt down, smiling. "Hi sweetie, did we wake you up? I'm sorry" he spoke down at her, his voice sugar coated. The little girl looked up at the strange man then to her mom who was shaking her head at her, mouthing for her to "run". She took a step back,scared of the man in front of her. His hand quickly latched onto her small wrist and pulled her towards him._

_Charlie yelled in anger "leave her out of this!! she's just a little girl!!" Phil turned towards him as he stood up, keeping a tight hold on the child. " I know. I can just see how much money she will bring in for me." he smiled, showing straight white teeth. Renee struggled against her binds. " Don't you touch her, you bastard!!! Not my baby girl!!!" Phil continued smile sadistically while he tied the girl to the coffee table, warning her not to move. Phil moved over to Renee and untied but kept a tight grip on her. He took a pocket knife out of his pocket and flipped the blade up. She whimpered as he brought the knife to her throat. " you only speak when I want you to. Understand?" she nodded, tears continuously flowing down her cheeks. He turned her round and bent her over the arm of the couch and sliced the PJ bottoms off of her trembling body. Charlie roared in fury and tried to rip the rope off his wrists and ankles but had no luck. "NOOO!!!!DON'T" _

_Phil laughed before unbuckling his pants and burying himself in Renee's body. She screamed in pain as he continued to pound into her. " that's right bitch! Scream!" When he came, his body shook from the aftershocks. The little girl started to cry, calling out for her mom, begging for the man to stop. He pulled out of Renee and buckled his pants and then threw Renee to the floor as she sobbed and curled into a ball. Charlie was furious, but tears streamed down his face. Phil laughed at him "not the best I've had Chief. But I guess you wont be around to find your self another whore!" Charlie looked down at his wife, his eyes filled with guilt, shame and anger. The same thought whirling around his head like a storm. 'why couldn't I protect my family? I wont be able to protect my baby girl! I hope he kills her as well. I don't want to think of what he will do to her.' He looked at his child "Me and your mom love you baby! We always have. Always will." and with that Phil buried the knife in Charlie's body over and over and over again, ignoring the screams of the daughter and wife. _

_Blood splattered all over Phil and the surrounding furniture. He stood straight, and closed his eyes as he felt the adrenaline rush spread through him, giving him the feeling of power. The power he relished in every time he killed. He slowly turned his blood covered face to the sobbing woman. He smiled. Renee choked on her scream, her body and heart hurting. He stalked over to her and straddled her. She knew there was no point in fighting him but she punched and clawed at his chest until he stabbed her in the side. She gasped, her eyes widened. He continued to stab her until she coughed up blood and started to choke on it. Her eyes wandered over to her six year old daughter, who sat huddled against the table leg, he hand over her mouth and tears that flowed down her cheeks. Renee tried to reach out for her baby, but found that her arms were to heavy to lift. She mouthed ' I love you ' and smiled as the girl mouthed it back to her. Her eyes slowly dimmed, her last tears mixing with her blood._

"_Mom! Dad!" the little girl screamed for her parents as the killer carried her out of her home and into the night. His last words to her before exhaustion and shock took her small body were :_

" _You're Mine now!! "_

I fell to the floor, right next the outline marker of where _she _died. My body was shaking from my sobs. I could hear the Cullens shout my name as I went down. I could feel someone pick me up and carry me out into the fresh air.

"Bella? Bella?"

I turned into the person holding me, hiding away from the world.

**EPOV**

I carried her out of the house, her body shaking and she was muttering things under her breath, incoherent things, even to us. Jasper was trying to calm her down but couldn't. Emmett, Rose and Alice followed me out, out of their minds with worry for Bella.

"Bella? Bella?"

I try to get her to come back. She was gone from us, locked in her own mind. She turned away from me and buried her face in my chest. My unbeating heart broke for her. Maybe Carlisle could do something to help. I gently placed Bella in the car, Alice with her, and drove away from the house towards our home. As we pulled up, Bella mumbles changed, louder and coherent.

"Please! No! Don't touch me please! I beg of you! Stay away!!"

**(A/N)**

**Hey another chapter!! yay!! **

**Okay, I don't want to seem bitchy or anything but, I've been getting a lot of fav author, fav story, alerts, but no reviews. Its nice to know what people think of the story. Bad grammar(which there probably is), crappy, unexpected, okay etc. Do you know what I mean. So please review my stories!!!! Pretty please with a Cullen on top!!!**


	7. Screams and Claws

**Hearts a Mess**

I stared out the window, not seeing anything. I layed there, curled into a tight ball, my hands tightly grasping the teddy bear. _My_ teddy bear. I had stopped crying an hour ago and Carlisle came in and out of my room, checking up on me. Edward stayed with me, murmuring to me. I closed my eyes wanting to disappear.

My dreams were dark, filled with blood and screams. The memory that I had forgotten, repeated over and over, giving me no peace. I could hear Renee, my mom, screaming and begging. I watched as her life drained away, the light dimming from her eyes. I could see my father, Charlie, tied to a chair, bleeding, his eyes flat and staring straight at me, his mouth open

I tried to runaway from the images but no matter where I ran or how fast, they were there. Dead and bloody. In my dream, I screamed falling to the floor as my hands clawed at my scalp. I couldn't stop screaming. My blood ran cold from the horror that surrounded me. They kept taunting me, blaming me for what happened. I started to cry, my body shaking. I wanted to wake up but I didn't know how.

"_Bella. It's all your fault. He came for you. He killed us because of you! You were a mistake. We never should have had you."_

It was Renee. I could see her. She stood in front of, her bottom half bare. She was bloodied, holes in her chest and side. Blood trickled out her mouth as she glared at me. I flinched away from her. She hissed at me, sounding inhuman. I looked at her again, and she changed. Her body thickened, shoulders broadened and her face became distorted. Her hair lengthened and tied back. James stood in her place. Blood was around his mouth and dripped onto his chin. He smiled and licked his lips.

"_I'll find you Isabella. You belong to me. And I will take back what is rightfully mine. Nothing will stop me. You are mine. "_

He reached out towards me and touched my cheek. His skin was cold and hard. So familiar but not just him but someone else. Who?

His body started to change, shortening, getting stockier. Phil stood in his place, his eyes darkened with anger.

"_Can you remember your mom? The way she screamed for more as I took her. Your dad screamed and cried. Do you remember that? Can you see it? How I pounded her till she was begging for more!"_

I closed my eyes again and covered my ears with my hands. But they were wet. I lowered them and opened my eyes. They were covered in blood, dripping onto the floor. Phil stood there, a knife sticking out of him. He laughed, despite the fact his blood was pouring out of him, like a broken faucet.

"No!!!"

I screamed, wanting the memories to go away. Wanting nothing more than to wake up.

"_You're just as bad. You killed me Isabella. You killed me with your own hands. You're a murderer."_

Bree, Jane and my parents appeared around me, chanting in unity

"_Murderer. Murderer. Murderer. Murderer. Murderer. Murderer."_

"No! I'm not! I didn't! I didn't! I didn't! I'm not like you!! I'm not!!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

I woke up, crying, my heart beating painfully. The Cullen's were standing around me. Edward was gripping my shoulders, as if he was shaking her awake. Carlisle was holding Esme as she was sobbing. Jasper was holding Alice and Emmett held onto Rose. Edward's hands realised my shoulders and cupped my face. I flinched away from him, my body shaking. He looked pained and his eyes were filled with sadness and concern. He sat there, not touching me. I covered my face with my hands, hating myself for hurting him.

Why did I flinch from him? He's been nothing but kind towards me. All of them have. Then I thought of James. I removed my hands and looked at each of the Cullen's.

"You're like _him!"_

I could hear the venom in my voice. It scared me. They stared at me shocked. I pushed myself up, staring at each of their faces. My tears continued to fall, but slower than before.

"Bella? What are you talking about? Are you okay??"

"You're like him! Your skin, it's like his. Cold and hard."

I shivered. Why didn't I remember that. Why couldn't I see that? I dark thought crossed my mind. Did he make them adopt me? So he could get me? I had to know!

"Did.....he tell you to adopt me? Did he?"

They looked confused and hurt.

"Bella, who are you talking about? We don't understand!"

Edward cried. She could see his pain and confusion. That's not right. They were too kind to have anything to with him. They've never done anything bad towards me and yet I accuse them of being connected to a monster.

I cried, shaking my head and covering my face again.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

I felt arms surround me, comforting me. I was rocked forwards and backwards, till my crying stopped and my breathing evened out. I looked up to see Edward, who was watching me. He looked like he was crying, except there was no tears.

~~~~~*~~~~~

I didn't fall asleep again. I stared, my eyes wide open, as my head layed on Edward's lap. He stroked my hair soothingly. He was humming to me, his voice softer than usual.

"Bella, I wish you would talk with me. Who was you talking about."

I stiffened. I sat up and my hair slipped from his fingers. He quickly grabbed my hand, his action causing me to jump. I turned away from him, not wanting him to look at me.

He rubbed my back as he moved closer to me. His breath was cold on my ear.

"Bella, I just want to help. You've been better until you went into that house. We....I don't know what to do. I want you to be happy, with us. With me. I want to take all the pain away. To make you better. But I cant do anything unless you tell me what happened. Please Bella. Let me in."

**EPOV**

"Please Bella. Let me in, please"

She stood up and walked towards the window, her arms wrapped around her. My heart ached for my girl. I didn't need to read Jasper's mind on what she was feeling. I could feel it in her screams and see it in her eyes.

I walked behind her and pulled her into my arms, wanting to comfort her. I tucked her under my chin, wanting to be closer to her. I breathed in her scent, not even noticing the burning sensation at the back of my throat.

"Bella, talk to me."

"But it hurts. It hurts so much."

"I know but once you talk about it, it wont hurt so much."

She stayed silent. I tried to think of a way for her to talk, to let her escape her nightmares. A song came to mind. A song very few people knew and even fewer who have ever heard of the singer. Before I knew it, I was singing softly in her ear.

_Pick apart_

_The pieces of your heart,_

_And let me peer inside  
Let me in  
Where only your thoughts have been  
Let me occupy your mind  
As you do mine._

_You have lost  
(Too much love)  
To fear, doubt and distrust  
(It's not enough)  
You just threw away the key  
To your heart_

_You don't get burned_

_(Cause nothing gets through)_

_It makes it easier _

_(Easier on you)_

_But that much more difficult for me_

_To make you see..._

She moved out of my grasp and away from me but she turned and faced me, her eyes opened and staring but I continued to sing to her, raising my voice slightly.

_Love ain't fair_

_So there you are _

_My love_

She backed away from me, her hands out in front of her. Her back hit the wall and she continued to stare at me.

_Your hearts a mess_

_You wont admit to it_

_It makes no sense_

_But I'm desperate to connect_

_And you, you cant live like this._

I stepped closer to Bella, moving slowly, not wanting to scare her. With each sentence, I stepped closer to her.

_Your hearts a mess_

_You wont admit to it_

_It makes no sense_

_But I'm desperate to connect_

_And you, you cant live like this._

_Your hearts a mess_

_You wont admit to it_

_It makes no sense_

I was close enough to touch her. I reached out and touched her cheek. I traced her cheek bone and then her lips

_But I'm desperate to connect_

_And you, you cant live like this._

_Love ain't safe_

_You wont get hurt if you stay chaste_

_So you can wait_

_But I don't want to waste my love_

She was crying, tears running down her face. My hands were capping her delicate face. I leaned in, my lips brushing against hers. They were soft and enticing. It was like getting hit with lightening. Sparking a buried desire in me. I wanted more, but I knew I couldn't push her. I broke the kiss off, and watched her. She had a dazed, dreamy look on her face. I stroked her cheeks, enjoying the softness and warmth of her skin.

"Bella?"

She looked away from me, more tears falling. I closed my eyes. I moved too quickly. I should've waited longer. I let my hands drop to my side and there was a long silence. She slid down the wall and I followed her.

" I was six, when _he_ came......"

"Who came Bella?"

"......Phil....."

**(a/n) I didn't really like this chapter for some reason. I would like to hear your thoughts. Please review me!! I beg of thee!!**

**BlackHeartNeko**

_xx_


	8. Broken But Still Wanted

**Hearts A Mess**

" I was six, when _he_ came......"

"Who came Bella?"

"......Phil.....He came at night, but I cant remember when. There was so much noise coming from down stairs, it woke me up. So I went down to see what was going on. There was shouting and crying. I was so scared. I wanted to run back up to my room, but I couldn't. I kept on walking, towards the living room. And he was there, in front of my parents, who were tied up. I called out to them. I wanted it all to be a nightmare. My mom, was trying to tell me to run, but I couldn't. I was frozen. I was too scared to move. He had grabbed me, and tied me to the table and made me watch as ......he....he....raped her. Then he killed them. Just stabbed them over and over again. He enjoyed it. I could see it. I've watched it his face every time he hurt me or someone else."

I couldn't stop crying, memories assaulting my mind, and I couldn't stop talking. Edward had broken the dam that I had built round me when I was a kid. It was gone and I was left vulnerable, bearing my soul to him. My tears blurred my vision. I could just make out Edwards silhouette.

"He took me away. Used me, for everything. I worked, cleaning the bar, filling the drinks, cleaning up after the other girls after their clients had left. He used me as a punch bag. He said it was to toughen me up. The others hated me. They did everything to get me in trouble. Sometimes the punishment was too much and I wouldn't heal properly. Then there was James."

I covered my mouth with my hand as I felt sick, my stomach churning by the very thought of him. I closed my eyes, wanting to forget everything.

"Phil sold me to him. Every few nights he would come, giving me time to 'recover' after his visits. At first, I tried to fight him. I was scared. It was a new kind of torture. He....he took me. It hurt but he didn't care. He just kept going. Then he would cut me and drink from me. Most times I would black out from loss of blood and he would just leave me there. But yet, at the same, he was there. Haunting me. I couldn't get rid of him, no matter how hard I scrubbed, I could feel him on me. I always hoped that he would go too far and just kill me. I wanted it, so badly. I even tried, but he found me. I was punished when it was safe to. He's a monster."

I remembered the dream, 'murderer' bouncing around my head.

"Like me."

There was a sharp intake of breath as I whispered the last part. Edward gripped my forearms and shook me. I looked up at him.

"You are not a monster Bella. You are an innocent girl that was forced to watch the cold blooded murder of your parents and used for money! That does not make you a monster! Monsters kill people, Bella."

I pushed him away from me and pushed my self up, before stumbling over to the window, my arms wrapped around my body.

"That just proves it then, I _am _monster."

He came up behind me, and reached out towards me. I turned and faced him.

"Do you know how I got away? How I managed to escape them?"

He stopped and stared at me, a look of shock on his face.

"James had left, leaving me weak. Going back to my room, I stumbled into Bree, who was at the top of the stairs. I pushed her down the stairs and she died. But I wasn't sorry. I hated her and I was glad she was dead. But then I remembered that she was Phil's favourite whore. He would want blood and I knew he would be after mine. And I was right. He dragged me into his office and beat me. And when he was bored, he pulled out the knife that he used to kill people, including my parents. He was taunting me, saying my mom was a whore and begged for it. I was so _angry. _I wasn't going to let him get away with it. So I fought back. I managed to get the knife away from him. He laughed at me, saying I didn't have the guts to do it. But I did. I had the last laugh. I stabbed him, just like he stabbed my parents. But even though I'm glad he's dead, I feel terrible. I had every right to kill him but still.....I....I...."

I broke down, collapsing to the floor, sobbing. The door opened and the rest of the Cullens came running in, a look of pure horror on their faces. Esme ran towards me and crouched down, pulling me into a hug. I clung to her, wanting some form of comfort, even though I didn't deserve it I sobbed into her, feeling suddenly weak. Esme picked me up, like I weighed nothing and layed me on the couch. I covered my face with my hands, my tears still falling and feelings of self-hatred and embarrassment, mixing together. I could feel them gather around me. I heard Esme whisper to Carlisle, something about me having a break down and sedation. Suddenly there was a stinging sensation in my arm. Quickly after, my body numbed and grew heavy. I felt tired. I closed my eyes and fell into a dark void.

~~~~~*~~~~~

**EPOV**

I stood over her, watching her as she slept. I was shaking with anger and hatred. My temper boiled and I was more predator than man. I gripped the side of the couch tightly, my hands imprinting the furniture. I felt Esme's hand on my arm but I shook her off.

"You knew, didn't you? You knew what she went through!"

"Edward, we didn't...."

I was shaking. My whole body was trembling with fury. I glared at Esme and Carlisle, cutting off their excuses. I ignored the sound of protest loudly expressed by my siblings.

"Why didn't you tell me!? I have every right to know! She's mine to look after and you could even tell me what had happened to her."

Looking down at her, I felt a wave of guilt and sadness. I ached to hold her, wanting nothing more than to ease her pain and suffering. My fingers curled into a tight fist as I thought about this 'James' she was sold to. No doubt he was a vampire. Venom filled my mouth at the thought of him _touching _her, _feeding_ from her. Jasper and Emmett grabbed my arms an dragged me away from my girl.

"You have to hunt. You're unstable!"

Growling, I tried to fight them off but they just tightened their grip on me as they dragged me into the woods outside our home.

My rage was still dark as I hunted for prey. I found a herd of elk. I ravaged their necks, desperate for their blood. I crushed their bodies as I sucked the life out of them. I could feel Emmett and Jasper watching me from the trees, wearying but alert. Jasper tried to calm me, sending waves over me. It didn't work, I was too wound up and Jasper soon gave up. After getting rid of the broken carcasses, we ran back home.

I ran up the stairs to Bella, wanting to hold her in my arms. I stood in the doorway watching her sleep on the couch. Alice, Rosalie and Esme sat on the bed talking low. Esme was stroking Bella's hair softly. They stopped and looked up at me. They stood and walked towards me. Each gave me a hug and left the room, closing the door behind them.

I layed next to Bella and leaned on my elbow watching her. My anger ebbed away as I looked at her face. I stroked her cheek.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I should have found you sooner."

~~~~~*~~~~~

**(a/n) I meant to put disclaimer on last chapter. i do not own lyrics of Hearts A Mess. They belong to Wouter** **De Backer** - **Gotye**.

**I know this chapter is short but i couldnt think of anything else to add. So here we go.**

**Please please please review me**! **With a naked Cullen covered in melted chocolate and rainbow sprinkles!!!** **; P**


	9. Scorching Kiss

**Hearts a Mess**

I sat on the bed, watching her sleep. My heart ached, knowing that Bella was hurting inside and there was nothing I could do to erase the pain that she suffered. I reached out and stroked her cheek with the back of my hand. Her skin was soft and warm, and an electric shock went through me. A usual feeling every time I touched her. I wanted to cry, feeling like a failure, that I couldn't protect her.

Anger coursed through my body as I thought I thought about the human and vampire that hurt her. I wanted to rip this _James_ to shreds. How dare he hurt her_. _I then thought about the human that had killed Bella's family and kidnapped her. She said she killed him and I was saddened that Bella felt that she was a monster. She did what she had to do to survive but I wish it was me that could have killed him. I would have made him suffer for hurting _my _girl.

Jasper sent me a wave of calm. And I was grateful as my anger ebbed away. I stroked her lips and then the skin under her eyes. I ached to hold her in my arms and kiss away her fears but I didn't want to scare her. Sighing, I got off the bed and sat on the chair in the corner of the room, my hands tightly clasped as I continued to watch her sleep, wanting nothing more than too see her deep brown eyes.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*Bella's POV~*~*~*~*~*~*

My body felt heavy and my eyes fluttered open. _What happened? _It was just after thought came to me, when I was assaulted by the memories. Bile rose. I told him what had happened, what I had done. My heart started to race as I started to panic. No doubt, they wouldn't want me here. They would send me back, I tried to blink back tears but they fell down my cheeks, leaving salty trails.

"Bella, love? What's wrong?"

The velvet voice soothed me slightly and Edward came into view as he leaned over and stroked my cheek. Swallowing painfully, I closed my eyes and turned my face away from him.

"You're going to send me back aren't you? Back to care."

I looked back at him. He looked shocked and his eyes were darkened in pain, the gold dimmed.

"Bella, no. you are part of this family. We would never send you back. You belong here with us."

Shock was the first thing I felt. They wanted me? I wasn't going back? My tears continued to flow. The bed dipped as Edward sat on the bed. I sat up and flung my arms round him and cried on his shoulder. He held me tightly, stroking my hair soothingly.

He held me as I cried. He didn't say anything, he just rocked me until I calmed down and my tears slowed and I was left hiccuping. Sniffing, I leaned away from Edward to see that he's eye had darkened further with pain. I reached up and smoothed out the frown that had formed on his face. He leaned into my touch, his eyes closed. I smiled slightly, and his eyes opened slowly.

"I don't want you to be sad , Bella. I wish I could take away all the things that hurt you."

My smile faltered slightly. He reached up and cupped my cheek as my hand fell from his face. He leaned in closer, his eyes never leaving mine, our faces inches apart. His breath was cold and fresh against my face. But he smelt amazing. Like sunshine and peppermint. I inhaled , and he smiled before closing the gap between us.

His lips were soft and as his lips moved against mine, I couldn't help but moan at the feel of his lips on mine. I felt him grin and he deepened the kiss. My hands (on their own accord) slowly raised and and tangled in Edward's bronze hair, as I kissed him back. His kiss was gentle yet passionate. His hand left my cheek and circled to the back of my neck, holding me in place. Not that I wanted to move away from his kiss. I tugged on his hair and he growled. My lungs burned with the need for air. Regretfully, I pulled away.

He leaned his forehead against mine. He was smiling, his eyes hooded. My heart felt strange. I felt like this was where I belonged. With Edward. I wanted to shake my head, to get the thought of my mind. Edward continued to look at me with hooded eyes and that beautiful crooked smile on his face.

"Bella"

He said my name like a prayer. The way he said it was like I was the most beautiful, most important in his world. But that couldn't be right? Could it? I tried to fight the feeling but I it was like something is telling me not to fight it. _I'm so confused._

He leaned away, tucked a piece of my hair behind my hair and then kissed my forehead.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. You should get some rest."

I nodded as he gently pushed me back into the soft pillows. His fingers brushed against my lips then the skin under my eyes.

"Sleep, Bella."

He whispered gently, his voice velvet soft. He started to hum. My eyes drooped then closed. His fingertips were as soft as a butterfly wing on my skin.

"Sleep, Bella. I hope that I amongst your dreams. My love."

I fell into the darkness, Edward's words echoing through my mind.

**a/n**

**I know its been a while since ive updated. Things have been HECTIC! Im also having some family issues at the mo so thats another reason why ive not updated in like forever. Im changing that (hopefully) so i shall be updatting sooner than what i have. please review me. i dont have much to be happy about ta the mo. your reviews will make my day!  
**

**  
BlackHeartNeko9**


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